Sunday, October 23, 2011

Facebook and tweens

Less than 1 month. That's all he had to wait.

 Our family rule for facebook is that kids have to be 13 before they are allowed their own facebook account. That rule stems from facebook's question of: Are you 13 or older, while setting up the account.  We don't want to condone lying on this question. Plus, it gives them something to wait for.

So #1 was 1 month out from turning 13 and lo and behold I happened upon his fb account. Evidently he had set it up while at a sleepover at a friend's house and had already had it for several weeks.
What's a mom and dad to do?

We understand alot of things:
1. he has no phone (he has a phone line, but has left 2 phones in his clothes and they have been put through the washing machine and no longer work) so there is no calling or txting friends.
2. we don't live near any of his friends
3. fb is the main communication between his soccer team mates and the coach regarding practice schedules, game info, etc
4. he's new to the school, church, etc and wants to find his niche and fit in
5. he's in 8th grade and that's what 8th graders do
6. he is a military kid who has moved each summer for the past 2 summers and wants to keep in contact with his friends from the last several states.
7. I could go on and on.

There's a heart issue here that runs way deeper than just setting up a fb account. It's an issue of disobedience and sneakiness.
So we sat him down tonight and here are the consequences.
1. Because he openend the account 1 month and 13 days b4 his birthday, he may not get back on the account until 1 month and 13 days after his bday....which will be a fabulous Christmas present for him! He also has to give us his login, password and know that we have authority to remove any tags from pics that are inappropriate, read any and all messages, posts etc. In exchange, we will not make him close out his account.

2, Because it is a trust issue regarding the computer, he is restricted to only his virtual school website. Nothing else.

Our hope and prayer is that not only will he learn not to disobey and try to hide things from us, but also that we do want to understand what he is going through and truly love him and want what's best for him. One day at a time. And thankfully God has granted us another day together.

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