Sunday, December 16, 2012

I have a 'shpiel' for everything!

I wish I could explain how I feel about some of my friends. The world likes to take people's expressions and contort them and twist them into mutations of the original thought.

I was on Facebook just a few minutes ago looking through some pictures that an old college friend posted. They were of her, her partner, and their triplets. As I commented and "liked" a few of them, I thought, "I wish the world could see that a conservative Christian can wholeheartedly and truthfully 'like' and even 'love' a friend and their pictures, even if they are gay." That doesn't mean that I am a hypocrite or don't stand for my beliefs or anything besides the fact that I like my friend and think her kids are adorable.

As the mother of 4, 1 of which is in high school and another just a breath away from being a teenager, I have to have my "shpiel" ready when the kids have questions about topics that are touchy in the world's eyes. Being gay just happens to be one of them. It's touchy in the worldy world, the Christian world, the churchy world, and the home world. So here's my 'shpiel'.

I don't believe that people are born "gay". But, I do believe that every person is born with tendencies, talents, gifts, things to overcome, and personal temptations.
I believe that any kind of sexual or sensual involvement with the same gender is a sin. But so is lying to someone about what their butt looks like in that awful pair of jeans, sharing answers on a test, talking badly about someone else behind their back, taking office supplies from work, not claiming all of your income on your taxes, etc. And I'll be honest, I've done many sins in my life, today, this hour and will continue to sin throughout my whole life. The good news is that as a Christian, I know that I am forgiven and I will always continue to try to sin less and less.

I don't believe that the guy I saw at Kroger the other day, with the feminine mannerisms and lisp, is gay. I don't believe that the guy who likes to cut or play with hair, design clothes, arrange furniture, cook, or dance ballet is gay either. I do believe that he might have feminine characteristics, or enjoy doing something that the world might consider a feminine occupation, but that doesn't mean that he wants to have sex with another man. I also believe that if that guy feels unaccepted by the heterosexual or even so called Christian world and is consistently called "gay" or taunted, teased, etc, that he might feel like he fits in with the gay community and is finally accepted there. Therefore taking on the traits of that lifestyle.

I also believe that girls can love each other so strongly in the teen and young 20s years that they can be tempted by the world to assume that their love for each other must be sexual/sensual. Not so. Girls at that age, just truly rely on each other so much for advice on their life, their hair, their choice in boys, their choice in clothes, their feelings about that dragonfly they just saw, etc. Sometimes that friendly love can even become territorial or possessive and can become dangerous, I totally agree. But girls need to know that they CAN love another girl-friend whole heartedly, want to hold hands and skip together through Kroger, hug each other and be there for each other without feeling like the world is telling them just to "experiment" and "see if they like it". Would we want our kids to just "experiment" with stealing to "see if they like it" if they were curious what it would feel like to steal that beautiful and expensive sweater in their favorite store? No. If they did would that make them thieves for life? No. Is it okay to dabble in sin? No.

So. That's the short version of my 'shpiel'. I'm sure my kids would tell you it was much, much, much longer than that. :)

Listen. No one likes to be told that they are doing something wrong. No one likes to be criticized. I get it. But shouldn't that be a red flag that what you are doing just 'might' be wrong? Just an opinion. Just a thought.

For the record, I love my friends. I love to see pictures of my friends smiling, having fun; pictures of their beautiful kids, pictures of them happy.
If they can forgive me when I do things that are wrong, and still love me...then I can do the same. But I expect and hope that if they see me do something wrong, that they would love me enough to point it out lovingly and help me do the right thing.