Last night at youth group, they had the last talk in a series on Love and Dating. It was concluded by a time of Q & A. Questions that the youth had anonymously turned in over the course of the month. As I was talking to #2 (my only girl-11years old and in 6th grade) this was our conversation:
Me: Were there any questions that you want to talk about with me?
#2: No, they really explained everything well.
#2: Well, there was this one. It was, "Is sex bad?"
Me: What do you think?
#2: Well, they said it was created by God, so it can't be bad, but Satan has twisted it to make it seem bad.
Me: Yeah. They are right. Think about when Adam and Eve were in the garden, and God commanded them to be fruitful and multiply. If he wanted there to be lots of people on the earth, and the only way to make a person was through sex, then do you think he would make it un-fun, like getting a root canal, or donating your left kidney??
Me: Right! So sex has to be fun and feel good, so that people will do it and fulfill the commandment to be fruitful and multiply.
Me: It's like ice cream.
#2: *huh??? face*
Me: Ice cream is great, right? Is eating ice cream ever wrong??
#2: yeah if you're on a diet.
Me: ha-ha. But seriously, is it every wrong?
#2: only if you tell us not to.
Me: exactly. If I buy ice cream and tell you that it's for your birthday, so please don't eat it until then, and you eat it before your birthday, then it's wrong. It's a sin, because you disobeyed, right?
Me: but if you wait until your bday to eat the ice cream, then it's not a sin, right?
Me: now, if you eat the ice cream before your bday, you will still probably get ice cream on your bday too, but it won't be special anymore. It would just be ice cream again. But if you wait until your bday for the ice cream, then it's special. You've obeyed too, so you can enjoy your ice cream without any guilt or shame. Sex is the same. If you wait until your married, then you can have sex without guilt or shame. But if you don't wait to be married, then you have disobeyed and it's wrong. You'll still have sex when you get married, but it won't be as special as if you had waited. Does that make sense?
Me: Let's keep going with the ice cream theme...it is one of my favorite foods! Let's say we were really poor and had never had ice cream before. But we saved and saved and eventually bought some vanilla ice cream. You loved that vanilla ice cream. And that was the only kind you ever tried...Well, until the day you died, anytime someone mentioned ice cream, you would always think about that vanilla ice cream and it would be the best ever. But....let's say you had vanilla, but then you also tried rocky road, then a gross sorbet thing, and then chocolate cookie dough. Then if someone talked about ice cream, your mind would go to all those different kinds that you had tried. AND each time you tried a new flavor, you would be comparing it to the other kinds you had tried. It's kind of like sex. If the only person you are ever with is your husband, then sex with him will be the only thing you think about and same about you. But if you have sex with more people than your spouse, then your mind will go to all those other people you had been with. That is why sex was designed to be with only your spouse when you get married. Does that make sense?
#2: Yes. Why do all your analogies go back to ice cream??
Me: I'm hungry. :)